What the hospitality industry can teach us about fundraising

By Ellie Starr, Chief Executive Officer / Founder

I was rereading Setting the Table by @DannyMeyer recently, and it struck me (again) how much nonprofit fundraising—especially major gifts—looks like hospitality at the highest level.

Not in a fluffy way. In a this-is-how-you-build-lifelong-loyalty way. Major gift officers are not “asking for money.” They are creating an experience of meaning, care, and belonging. That’s exactly what great restaurateurs do for their guests.

Some parallels every fundraising leader might consider sharing with their teams:

1. “Hospitality is how you make people feel.”
Meyer makes a sharp distinction between service (the technical delivery) and hospitality (how the guest feels).

In fundraising:

• Service = the proposal, the report, the meeting agenda

• Hospitality = does the donor feel seen, valued, and important to the mission?

A major donor may forget the exact numbers in your impact report, but they will never forget whether they felt like a valued partner or like an ATM. The emotional takeaway often drives the next gift more than the data.

2. Read the table. Read the donor.
In a great restaurant, servers are constantly “reading the table.” Is this a business dinner? A celebration? A quiet date? The same food, totally different approach.

Major gift work is the same.

Every donor has a different approach and “why”: legacy, urgency, personal experience, recognition, anonymity. The best MGOs don’t run a standard playbook—they adapt in real time.

The question shifts from: “What do we need to tell them?” to “What does this donor, in this moment, need from us?”

3. The experience starts long before the ask.
Meyer talks about how hospitality begins before the guest walks in the door and continues after they leave. The server takes notes on what they ordered or what occasion they celebrated.

For donors, the gift conversation is just one moment in a much longer relationship.

• The thank-you

• The follow-up story

• The unexpected update

• The call that isn’t about money

These are the equivalent of the warm greeting, the perfectly timed check-in, the coat handed back at the door. They signal: You matter here.

4. How you handle mistakes builds more loyalty than perfection.
One of Meyer’s big lessons: a well-handled problem can create a more loyal guest than if nothing had gone wrong.

In fundraising, things happen—delayed reports, event mishaps, missed calls. What donors remember is whether we take ownership and respond with care. A thoughtful recovery often deepens trust.

At the heart of Setting the Table is this idea: great organizations are intentional about how people feel in every interaction.

That’s not “extra” work in major gifts. That is the work.

If your team is strong on strategy but struggling with donor retention or long-term loyalty, it’s often not a pipeline issue—it’s a hospitality issue.